Memorial Day RealiTea

Every Memorial Day I call up my father to thank him for serving/defending our country for 24 years while he was in the Navy.  The call is usually a short one where Dad laughs and says something like, "It's Memorial Day today?  I didn't know that!"  We both start to laugh and then he hands the phone to Mom.  

This year was a different kind of conversation.  Mom answered the phone, we chatted a little, and then she told me to wish Dad a happy Memorial Day.  I greeted my father as I usually do, but instead of laughter there was a pause.  Thinking he didn't hear me I repeated, "Happy Memorial Day, Dad!  Thank you for serving our country for twenty-four years!"  His response shouldn't have come as a surprise, but the words still startled me, and woke me up to the stark reality of  my father's life at 87 years old.  "I don't remember that, Bea.  I'm getting old and I don't remember a lot of things..."  Dad has dementia.  Short term memory loss for me can be frustrating, but I cannot imagine the fear my father might have felt forgetting a 24-year block of his life. 

 When we visited my parents in January of this year my father looked healthy and for the most part, was cognizant of our presence in their home.  He would get my sons' names mixed up, but I do that often as well!  There were a few moments when a look of confusion would breeze across his face.  For the most part, Dad looked and acted "normal."  In fact, he and Mom enjoyed reminiscing about their childhood, focusing on their stint as members of the Guerrilla forces, working with the U.S. military during World War II. Even amidst the terror of that time in their lives, both of them looked at one another tenderly when they told the kids and I about Dad proposing to Mom in the secret guerrilla compound; that was the second time he proposed to her!  It was great seeing both of my parents chatting and laughing again whenever they spoke of the good ol' days!  Mom even told me, "I miss talking to your father like this."

Most conversations with my father have always been short, but nowadays each word is cherished.  Honestly, I fear the day when he will not remember the name of the daughter he is talking to...









 

Family HospitaliTea

"Let each of you look not only to his own interests, 

but also to the interests of others." 

~Philippians 2:4

As I gaze at this photo I am reminded of a wedding gift Dan and I will always remember. Among the silver, crystal, cookware, and envelopes of money, I would say that this gift was one of our favorites.  It was a simple wooden breakfast tray.  The tray was used to celebrate special occasions such as anniversaries and birthdays, to bring meals to a sick family member, or to hold our tea cups or coffee mugs as we read our books during late evenings. Needless to say, we were saddened when the cherished gift broke.  Replacing it was easy, and we still serve one another with the upgraded version.  

I believe every family should have a breakfast tray in their home. It symbolizes thoughtfulness, generosity, and love.  Teaching a child to help in the process of getting the meal ready cultivates a servant's heart as well.  What a joy it is to see a family member's look of delight whenever he/she is served a meal in bed, or in some cases, on the sofa.

As our family grows older we work around school and work schedules to serve breakfast in bed.  The children, when they were much younger, used to linger in their rooms after being presented with a birthday tray of food and gifts.  Nowadays, they find themselves taking the tray to the dining room to join the rest of the family. We like the tradition and cherish it more since we know it won't be long before Dan and I will find ourselves celebrating breakfast-in-bed birthdays without the kids. (Sniff, sniff, sniff..)

What a blessing it was to see Dan bringing me breakfast a few days ago.  Somehow he knew I'd be needing it.  He was right...I woke up with a migraine.  I feel a little guilty because I have enjoyed more meals in bed than he has.  That will have to change.  Our time together as a couple also passes quickly these days as well. It really doesn't take a lot of effort to put a meal on a tray to tell your loved one that he/she is special.  

Do you have a tray hidden in a closet or holding magazines on a table?  You could put an unforgettable smile on a loved one's face when you present them with a meal in bed and a  heart that says, "You are very special to me and you are loved."

Accoutrements for a serving tray: egg serving cup, small bud vase, cloth napkin, daily devotional/newspaper/magazine, place setting, small cups to hold syrup, berries, cream, or sugar, card/handwritten letter.