Too Busy For God

I spent a couple of hours with a good friend several weeks ago, helping her pick out a jacket to complete the ensemble she will wear to her son's wedding next year.  She tried on a few pieces I chose and finally settled on one that would be perfect for a beach wedding; something warm, and casually elegant.  It took a little persuasion on my part to convince my dear friend that the style, pattern, and color combination would look beautiful on her.  I was pleased to hear her say, "You know, you're right!  This does look good...I would never have chosen this on my own."  She was relieved and happy, and I was rewarded with several baskets full of succulent blackberries from her lush garden. . . along with a borrowed book about care-free plants and a large bag of plant cuttings for a yard "experiment" of mine.  We always have a fun time together!

 As I drove home I was thanking the Lord for the fellowship and the opportunity to cultivate a cherished friendship.  Nothing trumps face-to-face interaction.  Seeing a friend's smile, talking about the latest events in our lives, hearing the laughter, and sharing a cup of coffee/meal is truly a blessing.   Even if one prefers to use the phone, social media, or pen and paper, it takes time, effort, and willingness to maintain a relationship that one considers important.  Don't get me started with the "I've been too busy..." line; we are all busier than we should be!  With all the tools that are available to "reach out and touch someone" there may not be a viable excuse when asked, "Why haven't I heard from you lately?" 

 

The Lord has been asking me the same question.

 

 

56 Years of Commitment

 



 

 

 

My parents celebrate their 56th Anniversary today!  I almost forgot about it until I glanced at the family photo taken eleven years ago during their 45th anniversary.  Mom, in her tiara, looking beautifully radiant, and Dad is strikingly handsome in his Barong Tagalog (embroidered formal garment of the Philippines).  The Rolls Royce was dusted off that morning, taking its first trip further than "just-around-the block."  After the church service we caravanned to the Hotel Del Coronado.  This beautiful and historic hotel is known to have housed notable guests such as Thomas Edison, James Stewart, Oprah Winfrey, and many U.S. Presidents.  Mom's dream came true when the Ballroom became available that Memorial Day weekend to seat almost three hundred family members and friends.  Former high school students gave their speeches (loved the one about Mom throwing an eraser at a student who was talking while she was lecturing, but accidentally hit the person behind him instead), and old Navy buddies shared their humorous stories about Dad and their escapades.  We were also fascinated and duly entertained by the Philippine-American Society and Cultural Arts Troupe (PASACAT). What I remember most, however, was the sense of happiness I knew my parents felt throughout the occasion. I loved watching them dance, kissing one another, chatting with friends, and beaming with joy.

 Their joy, however, would turn to panic.  Early the next morning we called for an ambulance; my father had another one of his fainting spells.  It was because of this reason we persuaded my mother to plan for their 45th wedding anniversary instead of the 50th.  Dad experienced these spells often and we weren't certain about his health.   A few years ago we discovered my father  suffered from dementia.  Tests revealed the occurrence of many mini-strokes.  What a challenge it has been for both of them during this phase of their lives. 

 Their commitment to one another in spite of numerous trials and one another's flaws is a legacy their children will treasure.  I admire my mother's devotion, faithfulness, and loyalty where Dad is concerned.  She will defend his honor and reputation until the end.  You don't want to get in her way! (I've seen her in action and it's a scary sight). What I appreciate most about my father is his generosity and patience regarding my mother.  He also has a way of tuning things out when they argue, which I'm sure, fuels the flames.  I remember when Mom was visibly upset with Dad, talking to him in a very loud voice.  I looked over at my father who was busy reading his newspaper, unperturbed.  So, being the irritating teen that I was, I asked, "Mom, why are you arguing with Dad when he isn't even paying attention to you?  It's a waste of your time!"  Her answer..."Because I want to!" (Now that I'm married, I completely understand).  And, Dad made sure my siblings and I showed respect toward my mother at all times...even if her outfit didn't match!  (My sister and I were bad...)  Their marriage may not have been perfect, but their determination to work things out definitely paid off.  I thank the Lord for my parents' example of a marriage based on unconditional love and many heartfelt prayers.
 
The man Mom married 56 years ago doesn't remember a lot of things now, but she is still there for him...still hoping.

(Google Image)



Memorial Day RealiTea

Every Memorial Day I call up my father to thank him for serving/defending our country for 24 years while he was in the Navy.  The call is usually a short one where Dad laughs and says something like, "It's Memorial Day today?  I didn't know that!"  We both start to laugh and then he hands the phone to Mom.  

This year was a different kind of conversation.  Mom answered the phone, we chatted a little, and then she told me to wish Dad a happy Memorial Day.  I greeted my father as I usually do, but instead of laughter there was a pause.  Thinking he didn't hear me I repeated, "Happy Memorial Day, Dad!  Thank you for serving our country for twenty-four years!"  His response shouldn't have come as a surprise, but the words still startled me, and woke me up to the stark reality of  my father's life at 87 years old.  "I don't remember that, Bea.  I'm getting old and I don't remember a lot of things..."  Dad has dementia.  Short term memory loss for me can be frustrating, but I cannot imagine the fear my father might have felt forgetting a 24-year block of his life. 

 When we visited my parents in January of this year my father looked healthy and for the most part, was cognizant of our presence in their home.  He would get my sons' names mixed up, but I do that often as well!  There were a few moments when a look of confusion would breeze across his face.  For the most part, Dad looked and acted "normal."  In fact, he and Mom enjoyed reminiscing about their childhood, focusing on their stint as members of the Guerrilla forces, working with the U.S. military during World War II. Even amidst the terror of that time in their lives, both of them looked at one another tenderly when they told the kids and I about Dad proposing to Mom in the secret guerrilla compound; that was the second time he proposed to her!  It was great seeing both of my parents chatting and laughing again whenever they spoke of the good ol' days!  Mom even told me, "I miss talking to your father like this."

Most conversations with my father have always been short, but nowadays each word is cherished.  Honestly, I fear the day when he will not remember the name of the daughter he is talking to...









 

Family HospitaliTea

"Let each of you look not only to his own interests, 

but also to the interests of others." 

~Philippians 2:4

As I gaze at this photo I am reminded of a wedding gift Dan and I will always remember. Among the silver, crystal, cookware, and envelopes of money, I would say that this gift was one of our favorites.  It was a simple wooden breakfast tray.  The tray was used to celebrate special occasions such as anniversaries and birthdays, to bring meals to a sick family member, or to hold our tea cups or coffee mugs as we read our books during late evenings. Needless to say, we were saddened when the cherished gift broke.  Replacing it was easy, and we still serve one another with the upgraded version.  

I believe every family should have a breakfast tray in their home. It symbolizes thoughtfulness, generosity, and love.  Teaching a child to help in the process of getting the meal ready cultivates a servant's heart as well.  What a joy it is to see a family member's look of delight whenever he/she is served a meal in bed, or in some cases, on the sofa.

As our family grows older we work around school and work schedules to serve breakfast in bed.  The children, when they were much younger, used to linger in their rooms after being presented with a birthday tray of food and gifts.  Nowadays, they find themselves taking the tray to the dining room to join the rest of the family. We like the tradition and cherish it more since we know it won't be long before Dan and I will find ourselves celebrating breakfast-in-bed birthdays without the kids. (Sniff, sniff, sniff..)

What a blessing it was to see Dan bringing me breakfast a few days ago.  Somehow he knew I'd be needing it.  He was right...I woke up with a migraine.  I feel a little guilty because I have enjoyed more meals in bed than he has.  That will have to change.  Our time together as a couple also passes quickly these days as well. It really doesn't take a lot of effort to put a meal on a tray to tell your loved one that he/she is special.  

Do you have a tray hidden in a closet or holding magazines on a table?  You could put an unforgettable smile on a loved one's face when you present them with a meal in bed and a  heart that says, "You are very special to me and you are loved."

Accoutrements for a serving tray: egg serving cup, small bud vase, cloth napkin, daily devotional/newspaper/magazine, place setting, small cups to hold syrup, berries, cream, or sugar, card/handwritten letter. 

Sunday Evening HonesTea

Four months have passed since writing here.  Why I thought I'd be able to maintain a blog is beyond me.  Life would be simpler if I could write a comment here or there on Facebook or Twitter; my daily quota of socializing with x number of people would be met.  However, I've been thirsty for genuine, thoughtful and meaningful, interaction.  Would that mean less time on Facebook and more time here?  I'm not sure. I guess it will be a trial period for me these coming days or weeks. 

This morning's sermon inspired me to take on more challenges in my life.  Pastor Nate focused on the traits of Caleb that exemplified him as a "rare" man of God (Joshua 14 & 15).  Desiring challenges was one characteristic that was highlighted during the lesson.  The reason why Caleb did this was to increase his faith and trust in God.  Taking the easy road was not an option for him.  I know I need more faith and trust, but am I ready to tackle the challenge that lays before me?

As some of you already know, I have started writing a novel. The road to getting published is not easy.  This project has been on the back burner for a while now, and lately, I can't stop thinking about it. The other week I wrote over 800 words in a few days, and that surprised me!  A couple of days ago I started tearing pages out of my Vogue magazines to make character collages. In order to continue to make more progress I need to carve out time during the day to write.  When or where that will take place is still something I need to figure out. 

Besides the time issue, overcoming the fear of writing, and writing well, is another one of my major challenges, but this quote by Cynthia Ozick encourages me:  "If we had to say what writing is, we would have to define it essentially as an act of courage."  I've never considered myself as a courageous person, but maybe, just maybe, I can prove to myself that I can overcome this obstacle called fear by forging ahead with the book idea.  "For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind (1  Timothy 1:7)."

Last week I wasn't able to write at all.  The momentum disappeared as quickly as it started.  I'm stuck.  My beloved husband just told me before he fell asleep that I need to keep writing; he should know.  Having a published author in the family helps.  His insights, organizational tips, and words of encouragement are very helpful.   However,  I still get dizzy thinking about my characters and plot lines...there are so many of them!

To be honest, writing this blog right now feels good.  The rush to read everything on my Facebook home page within five minutes, which eventually turns into half an hour, or more, is gone.  Sitting quietly, eating a piece of chocolate cake, drinking a cold glass of milk, and contemplating the next sentence is meditative.  Instead of sharing tidbits of my life, I am sharing a part of my heart.  

So, if you remember, would you mind praying for this novice noveller?  Thank you!