Memorial Day RealiTea

Every Memorial Day I call up my father to thank him for serving/defending our country for 24 years while he was in the Navy.  The call is usually a short one where Dad laughs and says something like, "It's Memorial Day today?  I didn't know that!"  We both start to laugh and then he hands the phone to Mom.  

This year was a different kind of conversation.  Mom answered the phone, we chatted a little, and then she told me to wish Dad a happy Memorial Day.  I greeted my father as I usually do, but instead of laughter there was a pause.  Thinking he didn't hear me I repeated, "Happy Memorial Day, Dad!  Thank you for serving our country for twenty-four years!"  His response shouldn't have come as a surprise, but the words still startled me, and woke me up to the stark reality of  my father's life at 87 years old.  "I don't remember that, Bea.  I'm getting old and I don't remember a lot of things..."  Dad has dementia.  Short term memory loss for me can be frustrating, but I cannot imagine the fear my father might have felt forgetting a 24-year block of his life. 

 When we visited my parents in January of this year my father looked healthy and for the most part, was cognizant of our presence in their home.  He would get my sons' names mixed up, but I do that often as well!  There were a few moments when a look of confusion would breeze across his face.  For the most part, Dad looked and acted "normal."  In fact, he and Mom enjoyed reminiscing about their childhood, focusing on their stint as members of the Guerrilla forces, working with the U.S. military during World War II. Even amidst the terror of that time in their lives, both of them looked at one another tenderly when they told the kids and I about Dad proposing to Mom in the secret guerrilla compound; that was the second time he proposed to her!  It was great seeing both of my parents chatting and laughing again whenever they spoke of the good ol' days!  Mom even told me, "I miss talking to your father like this."

Most conversations with my father have always been short, but nowadays each word is cherished.  Honestly, I fear the day when he will not remember the name of the daughter he is talking to...









 

Family HospitaliTea

"Let each of you look not only to his own interests, 

but also to the interests of others." 

~Philippians 2:4

As I gaze at this photo I am reminded of a wedding gift Dan and I will always remember. Among the silver, crystal, cookware, and envelopes of money, I would say that this gift was one of our favorites.  It was a simple wooden breakfast tray.  The tray was used to celebrate special occasions such as anniversaries and birthdays, to bring meals to a sick family member, or to hold our tea cups or coffee mugs as we read our books during late evenings. Needless to say, we were saddened when the cherished gift broke.  Replacing it was easy, and we still serve one another with the upgraded version.  

I believe every family should have a breakfast tray in their home. It symbolizes thoughtfulness, generosity, and love.  Teaching a child to help in the process of getting the meal ready cultivates a servant's heart as well.  What a joy it is to see a family member's look of delight whenever he/she is served a meal in bed, or in some cases, on the sofa.

As our family grows older we work around school and work schedules to serve breakfast in bed.  The children, when they were much younger, used to linger in their rooms after being presented with a birthday tray of food and gifts.  Nowadays, they find themselves taking the tray to the dining room to join the rest of the family. We like the tradition and cherish it more since we know it won't be long before Dan and I will find ourselves celebrating breakfast-in-bed birthdays without the kids. (Sniff, sniff, sniff..)

What a blessing it was to see Dan bringing me breakfast a few days ago.  Somehow he knew I'd be needing it.  He was right...I woke up with a migraine.  I feel a little guilty because I have enjoyed more meals in bed than he has.  That will have to change.  Our time together as a couple also passes quickly these days as well. It really doesn't take a lot of effort to put a meal on a tray to tell your loved one that he/she is special.  

Do you have a tray hidden in a closet or holding magazines on a table?  You could put an unforgettable smile on a loved one's face when you present them with a meal in bed and a  heart that says, "You are very special to me and you are loved."

Accoutrements for a serving tray: egg serving cup, small bud vase, cloth napkin, daily devotional/newspaper/magazine, place setting, small cups to hold syrup, berries, cream, or sugar, card/handwritten letter. 

Sunday Evening HonesTea

Four months have passed since writing here.  Why I thought I'd be able to maintain a blog is beyond me.  Life would be simpler if I could write a comment here or there on Facebook or Twitter; my daily quota of socializing with x number of people would be met.  However, I've been thirsty for genuine, thoughtful and meaningful, interaction.  Would that mean less time on Facebook and more time here?  I'm not sure. I guess it will be a trial period for me these coming days or weeks. 

This morning's sermon inspired me to take on more challenges in my life.  Pastor Nate focused on the traits of Caleb that exemplified him as a "rare" man of God (Joshua 14 & 15).  Desiring challenges was one characteristic that was highlighted during the lesson.  The reason why Caleb did this was to increase his faith and trust in God.  Taking the easy road was not an option for him.  I know I need more faith and trust, but am I ready to tackle the challenge that lays before me?

As some of you already know, I have started writing a novel. The road to getting published is not easy.  This project has been on the back burner for a while now, and lately, I can't stop thinking about it. The other week I wrote over 800 words in a few days, and that surprised me!  A couple of days ago I started tearing pages out of my Vogue magazines to make character collages. In order to continue to make more progress I need to carve out time during the day to write.  When or where that will take place is still something I need to figure out. 

Besides the time issue, overcoming the fear of writing, and writing well, is another one of my major challenges, but this quote by Cynthia Ozick encourages me:  "If we had to say what writing is, we would have to define it essentially as an act of courage."  I've never considered myself as a courageous person, but maybe, just maybe, I can prove to myself that I can overcome this obstacle called fear by forging ahead with the book idea.  "For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind (1  Timothy 1:7)."

Last week I wasn't able to write at all.  The momentum disappeared as quickly as it started.  I'm stuck.  My beloved husband just told me before he fell asleep that I need to keep writing; he should know.  Having a published author in the family helps.  His insights, organizational tips, and words of encouragement are very helpful.   However,  I still get dizzy thinking about my characters and plot lines...there are so many of them!

To be honest, writing this blog right now feels good.  The rush to read everything on my Facebook home page within five minutes, which eventually turns into half an hour, or more, is gone.  Sitting quietly, eating a piece of chocolate cake, drinking a cold glass of milk, and contemplating the next sentence is meditative.  Instead of sharing tidbits of my life, I am sharing a part of my heart.  

So, if you remember, would you mind praying for this novice noveller?  Thank you!

 

 









 

 




 

Christmas Peace

In just two days we celebrate Christmas.  Tomorrow my son and I wake up early to do some last-minute shopping for a couple more gifts, buy some potatoes,  a block of cheese, a box of crackers, a few bottles of Martinelli's...and a partridge in a pear tree!  I know I missed something on the list, but my mind is foggy right now from the busyness of the last few weeks.  Taking time to actually rest is a conscious choice these days.  Instead of rushing off to bake a Brownie Caramel Walnut Pie (See recipe below) I choose to sit comfortably on the couch to write...to relax...to breathe.  

Of course, the chores of tomorrow and worries of today linger in the back of my mind trying to prevent the inner peace I long for from becoming an actuality.  As much as I'd like to strive for peace in my everyday life  I cannot do it on my own.  Struggling to regain some semblance of serenity amidst the chaos of life is like holding an umbrella against the strong gusts of wind and rain in a storm.  Because the battle is often emotionally draining I find myself surrendering to my default mode:  worrying and trying to survive the day.  It can be a never-ending cycle.  

As a Christian, I know where I can turn to when I become overwhelmed, not only during the Christmas season, but for all seasons of my life.  God's peace transcends anything the world has to offer.  In order for us to experience this peace, however, we have to take time out to read God's word, meditate upon it, and apply its wisdom to our lives. 

Here are a few verses on God's peace:

"You will guard him and keep him in perfect and constant peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he commits himself to You, leans on You, and hopes confidently in You."  Isaiah 26:3

"Acquaint now yourself with Him and be at peace; by that good shall come to you."  Job 22:21

"Peace I leave with you; My peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid."  John 14:27

Let us seek His peace as we focus on the birth of Jesus this CHRISTmas.  

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 Brownie Caramel Walnut Pie

1 (9 inch) unbaked pastry shell  

1/2 C chopped walnuts

20 caramels, unwrapped

1 (14 oz.) condensed milk

1 egg, beaten

2 T margarine/butter melted

1 (6 oz.) package semi-sweet chocolate chips, melted

1.  Preheat oven to 325 degrees.  

2.  Sprinkle nuts into pastry shell.

3.  In a small saucepan, over low heat, melt caramels with 2/3 cup condensed  milk and spoon over walnuts.   

4.  In mixing bowl, combine egg, margarine, and remaining condensed milk; mix well.

5.  Stir in melted chips and pour chocolate mixture over caramel layer.

6.  Bake 35 minutes or until center is set.  Cool.

Serve warm or chilled.    

           

It's Time For Tea!

I finally decided to start up my Tea With Bea newsletter again.  My friends have been asking me about the newsletter for years now, but I've had so many excuses; the usual one being LIFE. Lately, I've come to realize, once again, that communication within relationships is vital. And, I'm not talking about the tidbits we share on the popular social networks.  I find myself perusing through updates and tweets without much thought, "liking" and commenting here, there, and everywhere; not a lot of deep thought or relationship-building taking place.  

Last week I met with two lovely women, one on Friday, the other on Saturday.  We had wonderful conversations over meals, getting to know one another, sharing joys and concerns, and laughing over projects gone awry.  I left their presence revived, encouraged, and joyful.  There needs to be more face-to-face time with friends, both old and new.  I hope to do more of this in the future!

I thank those of you who have gently prodded me to continue writing Tea With Bea. Your words have inspired me when I thought I had nothing to share within my sphere of influence.  Oftentimes, I just need a kick in the bum to get things started.  

So, meet me here when you have the chance...for some Tea With Bea.